


Surrender

by pinkpines



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, College, Drunken Shenanigans, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Piggyback Rides, Possibly Unrequited Love, Sibling Incest, Unrequited Love, pinecest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-28
Updated: 2015-11-28
Packaged: 2018-05-03 19:04:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5303183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkpines/pseuds/pinkpines
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When you want something you can't have, sometimes you don't have it in you to even dare to hope for more. Sometimes you surrender to the way things are. The way you think things will always be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Surrender

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dipper thinks. Mabel drinks tequila and falls asleep. Dipper angsts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was an ask prompt from a reblog posted a day ago. 
> 
> The prompt was “things you said when you thought i was asleep”.
> 
> I decided after posting it as a stand-alone fic that I would add at least one more chapter to this, so stay tuned!

Despite acting completely disinterested and annoyed when she’d asked him to come with her, that really wasn’t the truth at all. Elated that she had managed to drag her studybug brother out to a typical college party Mabel didn’t think twice about how easily he’d relented. If he was honest with himself, he tagged along more so that he could keep a watchful eye on his sister and not to have fun like Mabel had suggested.

He was just looking out for her. Every time Dipper heard some terrifying statistic about the shit that went down at the average party, and what happened to 1 in 4 girls that attended them- he thought of Mabel.

And thinking about something awful happening to Mabel made him lose any semblance of chill he might have ever had a hold of, even fleetingly.

What he had learned from this evening’s experience was that Mabel plus Tequila equaled a particularly troublesome combination that he had zero experience with. Her overly affectionate ways seemed to amplify by leaps and bounds and he hadn’t thought it would have gotten to him so much.

Truthfully, he had told himself he’d grown out of his sister-complex phase. Having Mabel sitting on his lap, arms draped over him as she grabbed his face between her hands and called him adorkable and nerdelicious over and over had not made him feel one hundred percent convinced that he was over it.

Had he ever  _really_  been over it?

In the end Dipper had to carry Mabel back to her dorm via piggyback. His nose and cheeks tinged red as his sister nuzzled against his neck, her breath warm and voice rambling on quietly as he held her up by hooking his arms underneath her knees.

“You smell so good,” she mumbled. “Why do you smell so good?” She took a sniff, pressing her nose into his hair and sighing wistfully. “I wish I could bottle it. Not you, but just ‘Dipper Smell’. That would be so great! Oh man, I bet there’s some sciency way to do it. But don’t worry I wouldn’t sell it. I’d use the smell for good and not evil.”

Dipper cleared his throat and laughed nervously, as was his trademark habit in situations where he had no idea what else to do.

“What are you even talking about, drunkface?”

“I’m not even that drunk. I’m practically sober!”

Dipper scoffed.

“Bro. Bruh. Brobro.” Mabel tapped his shoulder with excessive force.

“What’s more sober than sober? That’s me. Whatever it is I’m that! I’m the soberest. Boy, sober is a funny sounding word if you just keep saying it over and over. Soooo burrrr. Like so BURR. Get it? Like really cold? So cold you go brrrrrrr!”

She punctuated the thought with an airy giggle that lasted a few seconds before melting into a yawn.

“You’re really warm,” she muttered, holding her arms around his neck a little tighter, pressing herself flush against his back.

That was the last thing Mabel had said before going quiet. The silence was nice, and he let it envelop him for a few minutes. He glanced up at the sky while taking rhythmically slow steps up the slight incline that led to the dorms.

“What am I supposed to do?” He wondered.

The question was rhetorical, addressed to himself, the sky, the universe at large. What was he supposed to do with her? Or these feelings that kept springing up at the most inconvenient time possible?

“It’d probably be easier if you were less… you.” A bittersweet smile crossed his face as they passed under a lamp in the quad. There was no one around except a random guy who was headed toward a different dorm building, walking in a visibly unsteady manner before disappearing around the corner.

“Think you can do me a favor and be a little more boring and average and totally predictable? You’d be doing me a solid.”

He told himself that it would matter, that those things might change this really inconvenient nagging that seemed to plague him and his heart. Dipper wasn’t sure it was entirely true that it would change anything, but part of him really needed to believe that something could.

“I really thought I’d grow out of this. I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me.”

At the heart of it, none of this was Mabel’s fault. She didn’t even know. She didn’t ask for this. Just because she was affectionate and loved her brother didn’t mean she wanted him to have these feelings for her.

The last thing she wanted was her brother to be the kind of degenerate weirdo who was in love with his sister.

In the end, this was something wrong with him. At the heart of it, he was the fucked up, messed up, weird one.

Digging her keys out of her star-shaped purse he navigated through the room, sure not to step on the stuffed animal laying precariously by the door, stepping over a pile of textbooks near the foot of her bed and sitting down at the edge of it. Gingerly he unclasped her hands from around his neck and leaned back enough to lower her onto her mattress.

Straightening himself up, the bright fluorescent lights from the front of the building streamed in through the gauzy magenta curtains she had on her window. He made quick work of taking off her shoes, and unclipping the big plastic flower clip she’d had in her hair all night. He pulled her ruffly pink comforter over her sleeping form, tucking her in snugly, the way he knew she liked.

In the darkness he found himself giving into the urge to look at her where she lie asleep on the bed.

It was the first time all night Dipper had let himself look at Mabel. You know,  _really_  look at her. Her eyelashes long and dark, curled a bit near the ends, a light dusting of freckles along her nose and cheeks, lips imperceptibly parted.

There was a reason Dipper didn’t let himself indulge in this often. The reminder was quick, a jolt to his chest. That twinge he got at times like these.

It was pretty stupid the way staring at her, thinking of her could make his heart hurt like this.

Sprawled out on the floor he stared up at her ceiling. The only sounds were her analog clock on the wall as the second hand ticked on ceaselessly and the gentle sound of her breathing.

It was always going to hurt. So what? He just needed to get used to it.


End file.
